One Week.....

The kids started school today.  I love my kids soooooo much!  I can't believe that my oldest started Junior High today.  He is getting so big and he is growing into to such a neat young man.  Zachary is a sixth grader this year so he is at the top of the totem pole this year at the school.  My princess Olivia is a first grader this year and could not be more beautiful.  She is such a sweet little girl and so much fun.

So, we are down to just one week.  I am starting to put things together for my hospital stay.  It will be at least a 2-3 days stay.  Most likely I will be pretty drugged up the first day, but I am going to bring some yarn for crocheting and my iPad so I can read my book.  I'm not looking forward to being away from my family.  Hopefully time will go by quickly and my stay won't be extended.

I'm still having really bad panic attacks.  Pretty much anytime anyone brings up my surgery I feel my heart start to race and my chest tighten. Its a HORRIBLE feeling.  Part of me is dreading surgery day but another part of me just wants to get this over with.  I don't understand why I am having such a hard time with this.  I am so incredibly blessed to have so many wonderful supportive people around me.  So many people have sent me emails and messages on facebook, my blog, etc. and have told me that they will be wearing pink and that I will be in their thoughts and prayers on Wednesday.  It is such an amazing feeling to know that so much positive energy will be going up on that day.  Thank you to everyone who is by my side through this journey.  If you would please send up some thoughts and prayers during the next seven days, that would be awesome too!

Something I have realized in the last week is that there really isn't enough support out there for those of us that have this surgery.  My goal is to hopefully open a website with information, message boards, real life stories, etc.  I would also LOVE to someday publish a book along the same lines. There needs to be more information/support out there for those of us that are high risk.  Real life stories help so much when it comes to things like this.  To help you know at least a little bit more about such a major decision.  So I hope to have the opportunity to get the word out, as best I can.

That is all for now!

Gretchen