Originally the plastic surgeon and I were talking about doing the surgery in August. The more I thought about it I decided that it might be better if I waited until after the kids went back to school. I have been told that the first week or two is going to be the worst, and there is no reason for the kids to have to be here all day seeing me miserable. It will also give us the opportunity to enjoy our entire summer break. So, I emailed my plastic surgeon and told him what I was thinking and he emailed me back with a date. It is on the calender, its official, and the countdown has begun. Monday, September 19th is when it is going to happen. Reading that email and seeing that date made my heart start racing and I felt a feeling of panic coming over me.
I read April's blog a couple nights ago. (the lady who has a blog about her journey with this same surgery) She recently had her second surgery to insert her "Foobs" (fake boobs) as she calls them. She had her mastectomy on December 10th and had her second surgery on May 10th. Not sure if it will be the same amount of time for me or not, we will have to see. One thing that April has mentioned a few times is the emotional part of the process. It got me thinking that maybe it would be best if I started seeing a counselor now so that I can get a jump start on some help to possibly make this process a little easier. I am going to go see my counselor for the first time tomorrow. I have never really liked talking to "shrinks" in the past but I am very open to getting help now. This is going to be a very different than anything I have ever been through before.
I also emailed the general surgeon and asked about the possibility of doing the nipple sparing surgery. This is something that has been weighing heavy on me and wanted to get his opinion on it. He said that he thinks that it is very possible that they will be able to leave the nipples since I am cancer free now. They will have to move them when they do the implant surgery because they will most likely not be in the right place after the implants are put in. The plastic surgeon will need to do some "nipping and tucking" of the skin and will place the nipples in the correct place at that time. It is important to me to spare them if at all possible. I know I am going to have scars and I can deal with that, but I would love to have my natural nipples instead of a "fipple" (get it, fake nipple. lol) that they created.
So, that is my update for right now. I am so grateful for all my friends and family who have let me know that they are praying for me. It gives me so much comfort and I appreciate it more than any of you will ever know.
Gretchen
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Met the new general surgeon today
When I met with the plastic surgeon last month he mentioned that if one of the general surgeons at the Naval Hospital was willing to do the surgery, I would be able to have the procedure done closer to home. I was very fortunate that one of my friends husband actually had worked as a surgery tech at the Naval Hospital and he was able to recommend a general surgeon. It was such a huge relief to have him give me a name of someone he had seen work first hand.
I met with the new general surgeon today. I was very impressed with him and I feel like I have a great team for this surgery. He told me that he is not sure if they will be able to spare my nipple which was something I was really hoping for. I really just want my breasts to look as normal as possible when everything is said and done. Hopefully everything will work out, I have to just put it all in God's hands.
Thank you to everyone who is thinking about me and praying for me through this journey.
Gretchen
I met with the new general surgeon today. I was very impressed with him and I feel like I have a great team for this surgery. He told me that he is not sure if they will be able to spare my nipple which was something I was really hoping for. I really just want my breasts to look as normal as possible when everything is said and done. Hopefully everything will work out, I have to just put it all in God's hands.
Thank you to everyone who is thinking about me and praying for me through this journey.
Gretchen
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Met with the plastic surgeon today...
The morning started like any other. Waking the kids up, Livi always takes almost 10 minutes to finally get out of bed, and getting them fed, dressed and off to school. I kissed each one of them and sent them off to the bus and then when I shut the door the anxiety started. Not sure why I was so anxious about this appointment. I think it was because I knew that this was the final step before the surgery date would be set. I got dressed and headed off to the Naval Hospital to meet up with Josh. Having him there for the appointment was wonderful. Just knowing he was there to support me meant so much.
They called be back to get my vitals. I knew, just sitting there, that my heart rate and blood pressure was going to be high. Sure enough, my blood pressure was really high. So much so that the corpsman decided to get it again, this time manually. The second time around was a little better and we picked up Josh from the waiting area on our way to the exam room.
We only waited a few minutes before we heard the knock on the door and the doctor walked in. I felt at ease, as much as I could feel in that moment. The doctor was very laid back and he went through the different options I have for this process. I can have implants of my choosing, or I could have a TRAM, or Transverse Rectus Abdominis Myocutaneous Flap procedure.
For those of you who do not know what a TRAM procedure is, they basically would take my extra abdominal tissue and create breasts out of that tissue. The other option would be implants, saline or gel, it would be my choice. The doctor thinks that he can expand my pectoral muscle enough to put in an implant that would be close to the size I am now. I am relieved to hear that, because that is one thing I was hoping for.
At this point, the doctor sent me home to research my options for procedures and told me to email him in a week. He thinks that the first surgery will most likely be in July or August. The plastic surgeon will need to get together with the general surgeon and find a day and time that they can both be there for the surgery. As far as a timeline, he says that it will probably take approximately a year to go through this journey. The tissue expansions will happen every two weeks or so until the expanders are at the size we have decided on for the implants.
One step closer. So many different emotions going on, but I know this is the right thing, so at least I have peace in that.
Until next time, God Bless
Gretchen
They called be back to get my vitals. I knew, just sitting there, that my heart rate and blood pressure was going to be high. Sure enough, my blood pressure was really high. So much so that the corpsman decided to get it again, this time manually. The second time around was a little better and we picked up Josh from the waiting area on our way to the exam room.
We only waited a few minutes before we heard the knock on the door and the doctor walked in. I felt at ease, as much as I could feel in that moment. The doctor was very laid back and he went through the different options I have for this process. I can have implants of my choosing, or I could have a TRAM, or Transverse Rectus Abdominis Myocutaneous Flap procedure.
For those of you who do not know what a TRAM procedure is, they basically would take my extra abdominal tissue and create breasts out of that tissue. The other option would be implants, saline or gel, it would be my choice. The doctor thinks that he can expand my pectoral muscle enough to put in an implant that would be close to the size I am now. I am relieved to hear that, because that is one thing I was hoping for.
At this point, the doctor sent me home to research my options for procedures and told me to email him in a week. He thinks that the first surgery will most likely be in July or August. The plastic surgeon will need to get together with the general surgeon and find a day and time that they can both be there for the surgery. As far as a timeline, he says that it will probably take approximately a year to go through this journey. The tissue expansions will happen every two weeks or so until the expanders are at the size we have decided on for the implants.
One step closer. So many different emotions going on, but I know this is the right thing, so at least I have peace in that.
Until next time, God Bless
Gretchen
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Feeling Numb
Not really sure how else to describe it. I just feel a little numb. I know that without realizing it, the reality is really setting in and I'm having some bad days. I was speaking to someone today and she said she could tell that something was "off", that I wasn't myself. I'm trying to pick myself up when I start feeling it, but some days are a little more difficult than others. As I have mentioned before, I KNOW I am making the right decision in having the surgery, and I am at peace with my decision. I have prayed many a prayers, and my God has even gone as far as sending what I believe was a direct message through a dear friend. Because of the words that she was compelled to share with me, I was reminded of the biggest reason that I started researching this surgery several years ago and I felt a wonderful feeling of relief.
It was in 2007 I think. We were new to the neighborhood and I had met an amazing woman who was a Survivor. From the first time that I met her, the energy and vibrance was inspiring. Her two children were friends with my Hunter and Zachary, which is how I came to meet her in the first place. I had been told by one of the boys that they had seen a picture in Lucky's mom and she was bald. I of course knew that this was most likely due to chemo. In the months that followed I learned of her story, and her fight. I couldn't help but think of what my children would have felt, watching me go through what she did. Another very inspiring gift she gave me was the opportunity to accompany her to Balboa where she received Iron infusions. The room that we would sit in while the infusion was taking place, was the same room where the other treatments, including chemo treatments were happening. It was amazing to sit in there and watch all the different experiences that these people were having. Some seemed very hopeful, upbeat and positive. Then there were others that my heart was breaking for. Fragile, scared, and lonely.
It was in building this bond with Kerri that I made the decision to be even more proactive then I already was. I just really don't want to put my family through that battle. If I can drastically reduce my chances of someday having that diagnosis, I will do whatever it takes. I have gone in for my mammograms each year for the last 7 years, I not only do my monthly breast exams but I go in and have a clinical breast exam done every 6 months because I don't want to miss something. In addition to those precautions I also nursed two of my children for an extended period because studies have shown that this can help reduce the risks. So yes, I am proactive.......but I want to do more. So it was about 3-4 years ago that I started thinking about having this surgery.
I had to fight for this at first. At Balboa, the breast health clinic wouldn't even put in a referral to a genetic doc, because they said my risk percentage was "not high enough". Fortunately the staff at Madigan Army Hospital has made this process very easy. This has made me realize even more that this is all in God's plan and now is the time for me to go through with it. We are near family, and I have an AMAZING group of Nimitz wives that I know will be there for my family with whatever we will need during this surgery and recovery time. In addition to my "blood" family, and my Navy family, I have an awesome "extended family" that lifts me up in prayer, which brings so much comfort.
Thank you to EVERYONE who has lifted me up in prayer, or just kept me in your thoughts. I have received so many wonderful notes of encouragement and it brings me so much peace knowing that I have all that positive energy on my side.
It was in 2007 I think. We were new to the neighborhood and I had met an amazing woman who was a Survivor. From the first time that I met her, the energy and vibrance was inspiring. Her two children were friends with my Hunter and Zachary, which is how I came to meet her in the first place. I had been told by one of the boys that they had seen a picture in Lucky's mom and she was bald. I of course knew that this was most likely due to chemo. In the months that followed I learned of her story, and her fight. I couldn't help but think of what my children would have felt, watching me go through what she did. Another very inspiring gift she gave me was the opportunity to accompany her to Balboa where she received Iron infusions. The room that we would sit in while the infusion was taking place, was the same room where the other treatments, including chemo treatments were happening. It was amazing to sit in there and watch all the different experiences that these people were having. Some seemed very hopeful, upbeat and positive. Then there were others that my heart was breaking for. Fragile, scared, and lonely.
It was in building this bond with Kerri that I made the decision to be even more proactive then I already was. I just really don't want to put my family through that battle. If I can drastically reduce my chances of someday having that diagnosis, I will do whatever it takes. I have gone in for my mammograms each year for the last 7 years, I not only do my monthly breast exams but I go in and have a clinical breast exam done every 6 months because I don't want to miss something. In addition to those precautions I also nursed two of my children for an extended period because studies have shown that this can help reduce the risks. So yes, I am proactive.......but I want to do more. So it was about 3-4 years ago that I started thinking about having this surgery.
I had to fight for this at first. At Balboa, the breast health clinic wouldn't even put in a referral to a genetic doc, because they said my risk percentage was "not high enough". Fortunately the staff at Madigan Army Hospital has made this process very easy. This has made me realize even more that this is all in God's plan and now is the time for me to go through with it. We are near family, and I have an AMAZING group of Nimitz wives that I know will be there for my family with whatever we will need during this surgery and recovery time. In addition to my "blood" family, and my Navy family, I have an awesome "extended family" that lifts me up in prayer, which brings so much comfort.
Thank you to EVERYONE who has lifted me up in prayer, or just kept me in your thoughts. I have received so many wonderful notes of encouragement and it brings me so much peace knowing that I have all that positive energy on my side.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
My Journey Begins
Today I had my second appointment with the general surgeon. It was short and sweet, basically just went to get a referral to Plastics. He had gone over everything at my first appointment. They will try to do a Nipple-Sparing Double Mastectomy. The plan is that they will go in and take out all the tissue and Plastics will then put in my tissue expander's. Over the next few months I will go in for expansions until we have reached the implant size that Plastics and I agree on. I will then have a second surgery to insert the implants. Hopefully it will just be the two surgeries, if there is a need for additional surgeries it will be to fine tune things after the implant is in.
The general surgeon mentioned at this appointment the option to do a tissue flap implant in one or both breasts (most likely just one). I am not sure how I feel about doing that, I will need to do more research and talk to the Plastics team before I make a decision either way for that.
In general I am at peace with the surgery. I know that I have an amazing support system here locally and that I have so many people around the world that will be supporting me in prayer. Just because I am at peace does not mean that I am not scared. I am very nervous about the surgery and the recovery afterwards. I need to just have faith that God will not give me more than I can handle and that He will protect me through it all.
I have prayed many times, asking God to help me make a decision about this surgery. This morning I was given a gift from God. It came in the form of a message from my best childhood friend. She told me she felt that He was giving her a message for me. It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. Basically her message was "remember why you started looking into this surgery to begin with". In that moment I knew what the answer was. The biggest reason I want to do this is because I want to be around to watch my kids grow up. By decreasing my chances as much as possible, hopefully I won't ever get a Breast Cancer diagnosis. I really don't want my family to have to see me go through that.
Thanks to everyone who continues to show their support as I continue on this journey. I means more than you will ever know!
God Bless,
Gretchen
The general surgeon mentioned at this appointment the option to do a tissue flap implant in one or both breasts (most likely just one). I am not sure how I feel about doing that, I will need to do more research and talk to the Plastics team before I make a decision either way for that.
In general I am at peace with the surgery. I know that I have an amazing support system here locally and that I have so many people around the world that will be supporting me in prayer. Just because I am at peace does not mean that I am not scared. I am very nervous about the surgery and the recovery afterwards. I need to just have faith that God will not give me more than I can handle and that He will protect me through it all.
I have prayed many times, asking God to help me make a decision about this surgery. This morning I was given a gift from God. It came in the form of a message from my best childhood friend. She told me she felt that He was giving her a message for me. It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. Basically her message was "remember why you started looking into this surgery to begin with". In that moment I knew what the answer was. The biggest reason I want to do this is because I want to be around to watch my kids grow up. By decreasing my chances as much as possible, hopefully I won't ever get a Breast Cancer diagnosis. I really don't want my family to have to see me go through that.
Thanks to everyone who continues to show their support as I continue on this journey. I means more than you will ever know!
God Bless,
Gretchen
Monday, April 4, 2011
A Little About Me
My name is Gretchen. I am 34 year old Navy Wife and mother of 3. I have several family members who have had a Breast Cancer diagnosis, two of which were diagnosed in their early 30's. I have been having mammograms since I was 27 and I of course do my monthly breast exams, but it never feels like enough. This year I pushed to be seen by a Genetic Doctor. He tested me for the BRCA 1 and 2 genes and I was negative, thank goodness. This was wonderful news, but for me, I still felt like my risk was too high. With just my family history my lifetime risk percentage is over 60%. The average persons lifetime risk is approx 11% so I am still way above average. The surgery will decrease my chances by 90%, and that sounds wonderful to me.
I discussed my options with the Genetic Doctor, and spent months praying about what the right answer might be. I have chosen to have a Prophylactic Double Mastectomy with Reconstruction. I have thought about this option for years. I have thought and prayed and prayed some more. My husband is by my side and I have an amazing group of family and friends that i know will be there for not only me, but my husband and children through it all. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful support system around me.
This blog is going to be where I can write my story, and share my thoughts. I have been fortunate enough to have come across a blog of a lady who has recently had this same surgery. Her blog has been a very valuable resource for me as I go through the steps leading up to my own procedure. I hope that my story will be able to do the same for someone else someday.
Tomorrow is my second appointment with general surgery. My heart races every time I think about it. I am a little freaked out. How am I supposed to know if its just nerves, or my gut telling me I shouldn't have the surgery?
God Bless,
Gretchen
I discussed my options with the Genetic Doctor, and spent months praying about what the right answer might be. I have chosen to have a Prophylactic Double Mastectomy with Reconstruction. I have thought about this option for years. I have thought and prayed and prayed some more. My husband is by my side and I have an amazing group of family and friends that i know will be there for not only me, but my husband and children through it all. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful support system around me.
This blog is going to be where I can write my story, and share my thoughts. I have been fortunate enough to have come across a blog of a lady who has recently had this same surgery. Her blog has been a very valuable resource for me as I go through the steps leading up to my own procedure. I hope that my story will be able to do the same for someone else someday.
Tomorrow is my second appointment with general surgery. My heart races every time I think about it. I am a little freaked out. How am I supposed to know if its just nerves, or my gut telling me I shouldn't have the surgery?
God Bless,
Gretchen
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