With each passing hour the pit in my stomach feels like its getting bigger and bigger. There are no words that can describe what I am going through right now. I am NOT ready for this surgery, AT ALL. I can't stop thinking about the moment that I will see myself in the mirror for the first time. I don't think there is any way that I can prepare myself for that.
I spoke to my dear friend tonight, who had her mastectomy last week. It meant so much to me that she called to check in on me, and how I am feeling. The feelings that that come after these surgeries are emotions that I am pretty sure only fellow mastectomy patients can understand. I feel so blessed to have an inner circle of friends that I can cry to and they KNOW my pain.
I am also blessed with amazing family and friends who have supported me through these last several months. Where would I be without my "Pink Army"? I have drawn so much strength and encouragement from the messages, calls, cards, etc that I have received from so many.
In the coming days/weeks/months I will need everyones love and support more than ever. I know that I will get through it, I have to. I will continue to remind myself why I started this process in the beginning. By having the double mastectomy I have decreased my chances of getting breast cancer by approximately 95%. That's a pretty dang good reason, right?!?!?!
Thank you again, so much, for everything.
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